Those Beautiful Eyes
by SecretStrangeAngel
Summary: John/Cameron John discovers more than just Cameron's true mission during their "information exchange".


**Author's Note: This story is told from the point of view of a much more mature John Connor in a diary-like context some time shortly before Judgment Day. The actual content of the story is meant to take place between the events of "Vick's Chip" and "What We Beheld". Some details may be contradictory to the actual storyline. Observations would be much appreciated!**

"This is your duty. _Your_ mission – to help me protect you. Do you remember?"

It was the first time I remembered Cameron ever asking me if I recalled any sort of information. Hell, it was the first time she'd ever _told_ me anything worth recalling.

Scratch that. Maybe it wasn't, after all. It's hard to say for sure... everything about that moment is so blurry to me now. But the one thing I remember with absolute clarity are her eyes. They were big and vivid pools of brown that omitted such an innocent fascination – a _human_ fascination that I was sure of for once.

It sounds impossible, I know. I could have imagined it. More logically, it could have simply been a part of her ploy. However, this theory also comes with its own flaws. Cameron is perfectly capable of mimicking human emotions, I know, but her eyes had always remained the same: void of any hint of a conscience. Now, it was almost as if something in her had snapped; As if this were the real Cameron, after all.

Not that I expect you to believe me. I'm just telling you what I saw and what I have faith in.

"John? You understand, don't you?"

Her smooth and unchanging voice sent a shiver down my spine, though it was indeterminable whether it was of a good or a bad nature. I still said nothing.

She lay her elegant hands on top of mine, concern seeming to cloud her features. "You must grasp the opportunity this gives you. An information exchange with my level of sophistication prior to creation is invaluable. You can collect this data far before SkyNet ever becomes aware of it. It gives you an advantage."

I stared down at her bright pink nails, painted with precision no teenage girl I'd ever known could master. "What's in it for you? You don't seem to care about kudos too much." My voice was hoarse and unrecognizable.

She began to stroke my knuckles with her dexterous fingers. "I only exist to serve you in my present form. You're perfecting my database by guiding me through these acts that only experience can fully demonstrate the power of. You're my mentor. Besides, sexual encounters are much better experienced when both partners have had little or no experience."

I felt my cheeks begin to burn at this comment, knowing exactly which of those two categories she put me under. Admittedly, it wasn't an assumption that I could dispute. She took her left hand under my chin, bringing me level with those eyes again. "It's okay, John. There's no need to be embarrassed. We're both learning."

I nodded, almost solemnly, unable to tear myself away from her stare.

"Don't be afraid, either. I won't hurt you. I promise." Her hands began to drift up my forearms as she spoke.

I drew back slightly, caught off guard by this. "Why would you think I'm afraid?"

She was touching my shirted shoulders and chest now, her eyes fixed and intense. "I can see it in your face. You have the most telling expressions." Her eyes flicked back up to my face for a moment. "It's very interesting."

Her hands continued to travel down my abdomen until they reached my stomach. I wondered what she would do if she didn't stop there, and a familiar warm feeling settled in my groin. Without thinking, I snatched her hands away.

For a moment, she sat there, seemingly confused, but then something seemed to click in her mind. "I'm sorry. I should have let you lead."

We sat there for nearly a minute; I feeling awkward and unsure of what should happen next, Cameron looking indifferent. I found myself wondering where Mom and Derek had gone to, and what they would think if they came home and found us on Cameron's bed together. Between the two of them, I was sure that neither of us stood a chance. Cameron would be destroyed. I would be persecuted to within an inch of her fate.

"You worry too much."

Cameron's voice brought me back to the present. I watched, as if in third-person, as she took my hand in hers once again and brought it to her face. I could practically feel the heat rolling off of her skin in my palm when she hesitated for the shortest second, as if mirroring my own uncertainty, before cupping her cheek with my hand. "It's okay."

I wondered who she was trying to convince: me or herself. It would seem that I was doing a lot of wondering that day.

I moved my thumb across her cheek, nearly starting as she closed her eyes at the caress. I hadn't really meant to do it, but I never would have thought she would have a reaction to it if I did. I did it once more, just to be sure, and she leaned into my touch.

"Can you feel that?"

She gave a slow nod. "There are simulated nerve endings covering my endoskeleton in every place that a human female would have them. I can feel everything except pain."

I swiped my thumb over her lips, the way she had seen Vick do it that had intrigued her so, and I could swear that for a second the corner of her mouth had turned up into a half-smile. She arched her neck ever so slightly, and I adjusted so that I was supporting her head as it tipped back.

I suddenly felt as if I had done this a thousand times with a countless number of girls, even though I had barely even gotten to second base with the couple that I'd gotten to know well enough. Maybe that's how Cameron wanted me to feel. After all, she believed me to be the expert here. At least that's what she'd told me.

Without a second thought, I lowered my mouth to the flesh of her neck, kissing my way from the hollow to her Adam's apple. A short breath escaped her, alerting me to the lungs that I hadn't even known she possessed. Tentatively, she wrapped her arms around my neck as we somehow ended up lying down, with those dark pools of mock emotion looking up into mine intently. _It's okay_, they seemed to say in place of words.

My hands now found themselves in her silken hair, and it wasn't until I'd pressed my lips to hers did I bother to remember that she probably had no idea how to kiss. It was too late now, though, so I stayed like that, planting tiny kisses to her mouth to help her get the hang of it.

It didn't take her long – not even five seconds later, she was responding, mimicking my pattern exactly. Soon, I was leading her easily, just as she had suggested, and she was quick to learn. Before I knew it, our tongues were expertly tangling together in a dance that was new to both of us, yet strangely natural. That is, as natural as possible given who I am and what she is.

The process of undressing wasn't as complex or as big of a deal as I'd always imagined it would be. Of course, I'd had no experience unhooking bras, so Cameron had had to reach underneath herself to help me, but otherwise it seemed like no time at all before we were both as naked as the day we were born... or built.

I looked her over beneath me, with all of the subtle curves of a woman, and couldn't help but let out a groan at the sight.

Cameron's face seemed to go slightly ashen. "What's wrong? Does something not look right?"

"No, no. It's just that..." I found it hard to tear my gaze away from her body in order to look her in the eye. "You're just perfect."

"You designed me." She smoothed the hair away from my face and ran her fingers down my neck, almost as if in tender admiration.

This was news to me, but I wasn't up to discussing it at the moment. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. I'm ready." Cameron looked as cool as ever, making me doubt for a moment if she realized the full weight of what I was asking.

I didn't have the patience to ask her this at the moment. Positioning myself, I carefully pushed into her. Cameron gave another sharp exhale and a soft noise which could only be described as a moan. My arms, which were holding me up over her, almost gave out at the sound. Unless she had been programed to do so, I knew that she was not fabricating this response. She'd told me that she could feel, but I'd never put two and two together...

It was hot and tight, but moving within her became easier after a little while. Cameron's eyes flashed even brighter before closing, a shock to me since I'd never even seen her blink before. The only way I had of telling that she was still in there was the constant movement of her fingers in my hair, running them through the long strands and massaging mini circles into my scalp.

I remember thinking, "_Maybe she really is different, after all. Just look at her!_" I'd never really considered her pretty ever since learning that she was a machine. Now, all of the feelings that I'd had for her back in those first few days of our knowing each other were flooding me once again, attacking every nerve in my body – and they were in it to kill.

Derek has told me that in the future there is no beauty. Only destruction. But in that moment, I found that almost impossible to believe. If that were true, then I couldn't have created Cameron. A man with no appreciation for beauty is also devoid of the ability to find any true meaning in life. The future me, the John Connor leading the resistance against SkyNet, must have been able to find something to grasp on to, even if it was something as small as a word. I finally realized why I had sent Cameron back. It was nothing less than a message, a prophetic syllable that my mother spoke about so often.

Hope.

The most fulfilling release I'd ever felt washed over me, and it took all of my strength not to collapse on top of Cameron, exhausted. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck as the world seemed to settle back in around me.

Cameron's fingers stilled for the first time in what felt like an eternity. "How did I do?"

"You did, uh..." I shut my own eyes, my lack of sleep for only God knows how long all seeming to hit me at once. "You did great, Cam. Real great."

"Thank you."

My eyes still closed, I rolled to the side of her onto my back, feeling my spine relax into the mattress with appreciation. "Cameron?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly is your mission?"

She hesitated for a long while before speaking again, and I was sure that she was weighing the choices of telling me her truthful purpose here or not. "My mission is to protect, guide, and serve John Connor and to preserve the integrity of the human race."

"When is your mission complete?"

"My mission is never complete."

I looked over at Cameron, surprised to find her staring right back at me. "When you built me, you told me that in time I would be considered a guardian angel. You told me that my mission rests on your unwavering faith in me. This holds true in both technical and metaphysical terms."

I pushed a thick lock of hair behind her ear. "I believe it."

Cameron frowned. "I still don't understand it. You told me I wouldn't."

"You will. I'll see to it."

Cameron nodded, and it was only then did I realize how much trust she really held in me. It wasn't by her words or her gestures that I recognized this fact, but rather by the tangled web of thoughts that so obviously swirled behind those eyes that I could now call beautiful.


End file.
